Excerpt from a talk by Biji Surinder Kaur on 5 August, 2000

With all His love Master has sent us here and with this love He is now here with us.

How beautiful was the time when we could hear Bhaji's voice and could still talk to Him physically. He also had always wished to be able to hear Master's voice. We come into the world with a task, but we do not stay here for ever.

The month of August has started and I want to speak about the incidences with Master in the month of August (1974).

There were clouds in the sky, but Master said, "The weather is fine. O Sawan, my King, I yearn to go back to You!" In that month Master was very happy.

The month of August has started, and you can perceive His presence and  feel the pain of separation from Him. At that time Master lived in Delhi. Outwardly we were far from Him, but we had such nearness to Him that He was calling us with His love. Who have experienced this time and have seen these incidences, for those it is difficult to describe it all. But every year this date comes again which Master had selected (to leave His body).

Every year from the 18 August onward Bhaji always started to tell the same stories of how we passed the time with Master. Bhaji even used to take the same food that Master had eaten in the month of August. These were the clouds of love which rose. (The pain of) this time of separation cannot be hidden. It just comes up.

Bhaji said, "Not only the days from 18 August till 22 August I do not like, I do not like these dates in any month." When one has become one with Master and Master resides in the disciple, then it is very difficult to live without Him.

Whenever Bhaji went to Delhi (to meet Master), He felt neither heat nor cold, He never cared for Himself. This last year Master did not wish that He should be even a little separated from Him. Once Master said, "When one has made friendship with someone it is very hard to go on living after Him (after His departure)." On the one hand the "husband" (the Master is the inner husband of the soul) has left the body, and on the other hand one has to face the storm. Only one who himself has been hurt can know the pain of the other who never before had been separated from Him. When these scenes arise and that time comes before the eyes again, it is very difficult to put all this into words. Bhaji Himself had to go through this storm, this difficult time (of Master's departure), but in spite of it He was able to give consolation to everybody, He embraced all in the Sangat and gave comfort to them. On the other hand there were also people who were happy (because they saw their time had come to become "successor").

What was Bhaji's condition then? Master's body lay on a large table and Bhaji was hiding under this table. He prayed, "See the condition of a woman whose husband has left the body and gone to the eternal home; who can be my partner now?"

Only for three days could Bhaji shed tears, then He had to face all the problems. Whenever He was weeping, He wept in secret. He was caring more for the Sangat, and when the Sangat came from far and asked Bhaji what had happened, how it had been when Master left the physical body, Bhaji could not weep, He just explained everything about Master's competence.

I have just seen this photo where Bhaji is seen folding His hands before Master's body, praying, "You have left me physically, but You must never leave me from inside, You should keep our friendship from inside."

It was raining heavily that day when I came to this place (Biji arrived there later). Bhaji took me close to Himself and started to weep; so He could relieve His heart because in front of the Sangat He could not weep. Then He said, "The shining sun, which was giving the light of spirituality, has physically set today." On one side the last funereal ceremony was taking place, at the same time a film of Master was shown, and on the other side a tape of His Satsang was being played. These different scenes were going on, and it was a very difficult atmosphere one had to stand. People were sitting in different groups and were talking to Bhaji. They wanted to know from Him what had happened to Master.

Then the last funereal ceremony was held, and the tears in Bhaji's eyes had started to dry up. He declared that the eternal husband can never leave the wife till He has taken her back to the true home and that in this way we will all be together.

These words were a support for us, by this Master could also bring us in balance and could make us stand. It was very hard to see the fire burning (where Master's body was cremated), but it was all like in a dream.

When one gives water to the desert, it becomes green, and for us it was like this, when we spoke about the incidences with Master. For the Sangat it was support and consolation when Bhaji was telling what had happened  with Master (in those last days) because everybody knew that except for Bhaji Master had not allowed anybody to be with Him in the last hours. He did not even take medicine from any other doctor.

In every centre Bhaji said to all, "I am the most unfortunate, I have the worst destiny, as I have lost my Master holding Him in my own hands. His arm was in my hand, I had my hand on His arm, I felt His pulse, but the bird – the soul – went inside to the eternal home, and I remained with empty hands."

Then Bhaji said to all, "Let us sit for meditation so that we can see His inner beauty, and see how competent and alive He is!"

Those days were very hard for us. The question, "What had Master said about His successor?" was soon being raised. And Bhaji told them that when Master had been asked this question (by Taiji), Master raised His hand and said, "Kudha, the Almighty One, has done His work before and He will continue His work in the future." By answering with these words Bhaji got more and more power. Master's cremation ground had not even become cold, when this question started to be raised. Bhaji was so busy at that time (everybody wanted to speak with Him), but the Sangat of Amritsar helped Bhaji a lot, they cared for His physical well-being, and from time to time they brought Him water and food. And again and again the same question was put to Bhaji, and in the same way He always replied, "Master has left to us all the tape-recordings, He told all about Himself and had it recorded, His voice is with us, and He will be with us forever." Then He said, "The bright light has been displaced by the dark night." This means that the time of separation from the Master had come, and it was very difficult to pass through. And further He said, "These eyes, coloured with the love of God, were one with Him, but His physical eyes we have now lost forever. He is the Master who gave us life, who could bring us above the body-consciousness and who could bring us to the Gaggan (third eye)."

"O Kirpal, today Your rays are scattered everywhere, but once there was a time, when we were all sitting under Your rays, under Your umbrella. One who has true love with You, how can he be silent and sit under another tree? They, however, cannot even weep in Your remembrance, at once they started to search for a second father. They all will have a bad destiny as they lost their faith in You so soon and started to search (for a successor)."

In such a condition Bhaji was after 21 August, but the Sangat helped Him very much. Bhaji often took some lines from Master's books, which contained some hint, what Master had told Him, and Bhaji went and explained it to the Sangat.

One day Bhaji was in the Bombari Road, when He remarked, "These eyes could see You physically before, but now You have disappeared from our eyes. These eyes will have to suffer, and they will yearn to see Your physical eyes, which You have taken inside. You, the ocean of grace, You have stolen our heart and gone inside. When we saw You here in this world, we saw that You were God, when we see You inside, we see that You are the Creator of the whole universe. How can I express my love to You, with whom I passed the night?"

On 23 August we came back home and on 24 we read in the newspaper that a new guru had been announced (and propagated as successor). After having read the news, Bhaji left the house. He left the hospital and said to me, "Now you can either keep the house or me – I must go!" The children were still small, but we left them and simply went to Delhi. We took the same train on which we used to travel. This was the second storm, the second dark night, when we had to see that they had brought forth a so-called master, one who had not even been present when Master left His physical body. Not many from the Sangat came along with us then, only two or three people were with us, when we arrived in Delhi, but it seemed as if three or four hundred thousand people had come from Amritsar. One who is going on the path of truth, who has got the truth of spirituality, does not fear anything in this world.

Bhaji had got special power and special beauty from Master. He was so full of power, and when He entered the house of Master, He said, "See our condition, who has given these eyes to You, who has given his heart to You, how can he take another one on his heart who had not even been with You (at Your departure)." And people heard Him say, "You could at least give some hint how we can believe in dead bodies! (means believe in a so-called master who is inwardly dead)."

His spiritual power, His fire and His colour were indescribable. He was so full of it that He could even jump over the walls of the ashram like anything. He was filled with such an extraordinary power that He did not allow anybody to do anything wrong. Then people started to say, "There is so much power in this doctor – Master must be speaking through Him." And people feared Him. It was not He who was speaking, someone was speaking through Him, and therefore all came to Him. From the beginning till the end He was always saying the same (what Master had told), He gave the same message of Master, which was never changed.

The one Gurmukh, who had passed the nights with Him, who had spent so  much time with Master, how could He think of destroying His spiritual garden? Bhaji always said, "The gardener, who has planted the trees, will surely give water from time to time, so that the plants may not get dry." Such a great Power only the Gurmukh can realize, who can go to Him within to find out who He is. Full of love He spent His nights with Him and He said, "You have laid out this garden, and we will only get the inner  water, the inner nectar as You will give it to us."

Very frankly Bhaji said to everybody, "He gave me such water, with which  I will never get thirsty again. The water of this well, from which He gives the water to us, will take us inside. And this inner water can never go  waste. He, who has given the light to us, has also given some rules to us how we should live. If we keep to these spiritual guidelines and live according to His will, we can reach the eternal home under the protection of His light." Who has seen Bhaji knows that He could go on speaking and speaking, and the words came from His mouth like from a tape-recorder (so much of His knowledge, of His message was in Him).

God has given us this human body and has sent us here, but we should praise Him for this, it is not our merit. He resides in our hearts and watches His child, how it acts and develops. When the Beloved sent us into this world, He gave this message to the soul: "You should become even greater than your Father, you should not be less than Him." Master's words are never without meaning, they will be fulfilled.

Master gave to Bhaji so much power, such a fire, that He could even jump  over a wall of five feet height in order to control the microphone on the  stage (so that no one might say anything false). Every word He said was  full with His charging, with His colour, so that everybody was ready to listen and to accept it.

Bhaji said, "I am a doctor who has made a business with Master, with Kudha, the Godpower – to attain His Naam. I do not make business (with the Mission) because of worldly things." When He declared this with a strong voice, He heard that the Sangat also became more powerful, and very loudly they said, "Doctor, don't sell Your Master for money!" (A false master was propagated as successor only because of money and might and with these words the Sangat wanted to express that Bhaji should not agree with this.)

When Bhaji was speaking, each word was charged with Master's vibration and the Sangat felt such an atmosphere and so much grace that they only wanted to listen to Him. On the way of truth only the truth can go within, the untrue, the false, will only remain here and cannot be spread.

How Bhaji was, how He spoke and how He did everything for Master can be seen in the fact that nobody was able to take over the Ashram in Delhi –  it is still empty (it is preserved as a memorial place in Master's remembrance).

Some who did not know what Bhaji had experienced with Master, and what He had told in the end, felt somewhat dry, but whenever they heard Bhaji speak, they felt as fresh as a desert gets green when it is given water. This was what the Sangat felt, and Master gave His spiritual power, His own beauty to His Gurmukh.

Master loved Bhaji so much. Once Bhaji wore a turban of some bright pinkish colour and Master told Him, "You should take off this turban, otherwise I cannot see whether this shining comes from Your face or from the colour of Your turban!" Bhaji was shining with beauty! And all people who were with Him could see and experience all this. The Sangat prayed to Master, "We are thankful to You that we can hear the message from Master through Bhaji."

There was such a condition that in many places Master's colour was overflowing, everywhere there was Kirpal's blessing, but without His Gurmukh nobody could feel it.

Bhaji had attained Him inside, and from the beginning till the end Master gave His power, His colour, His blessing to Him. Like this Master gives His grace to the Gurmukh, He gives His grace to His souls, He gives His power, which comes direct from Sat Lok. Master shows this example in the world and proves how Master can reside in someone and do His work. Thus the garden of spirituality flourishes and the boat of spirituality can reach the shore. But He can only give His colour to him who has already been blessed from within, and only that one can attain it from inside and can pass it on to others.

Once Bhaji wrote in a letter to Master: "I want to meditate and get Your intoxication, Your colour!" Master answered: "I have given You such a colour, such a treasure, which not only You but also Your brothers can use, and it will never finish."

Only one who really does the hardship (of meditation), who gets this intoxication and always remains in His loving remembrance, can get this power. One who keeps his face turned towards Him, is His Bhagat, His servant, and He is caring for him. Such one does not come into this world as a prisoner, but he comes only to fulfil the will of the Master and to do His work. Such souls have no fear in this world, they just pass on Master's words, His message, and when they have completed their work, they are ready to go back.

Many Bhagats have to come, but when they come into this world, He resides in their hearts.

Bhaji said to Master, "O my Kirpal, You have taken a seat in my heart and with Your grace I was able to do the hardship, to develop bhakti, devotion, and by this such a strong fort has been established that cannot be won over by anyone except of You. I am Your Gurmukh and with the help of the Sangat we will do the work and win over this fort (we will fulfil all tasks and go back)."

And there was no power that could harm His Mission, and today you can see how Unity of Man is flourishing. And He said, "Whatever Master had said about Unity of Man, we will tie with such a knot that nobody can open." (Bhaji means that nobody will be able to disturb or interfere.)

He often spent the night somewhere else than He had spent the day, within 24 hours He could go to many cities and villages and do Master's work. Why do I tell all these things today? It is the story between Father and child, the story of 21 August and 25 September. Bhaji Himself was driving and He was allalone to do the work. Master gave His car as a Kaaba, a temple of God, which had the number 6552. Bhaji always kept me close to Him and my duty was to meditate so that Master could guide us every moment and we would not make any mistake. Day and night Bhaji was busy bringing the Mission up, He was not caring for His house or if he had any money in His pocket. He just kept the words of Master, who had said, "Doctor, when You have made friendship with me, keep up this friendship and do the work!"

And for us the storm arose again, when the 25 September arrived (and Bhaji had decided to go back). He cleared His way Himself, He could not differentiate any longer, if He was speaking in this world or inside, and whenever He was speaking, He was talking the inner language.

On 18 September Bhaji held Satsang in Chandigarh. We both have gone there and then we went to Jaipur to buy marble for the Sarovar. On the way He was speaking with Master, "O Master, this cloth (this body) has become very old, it has even been worn to shreds, when will You give me a new one (when will You take me inside)? Who has seen the sun of the inner husband, how can he be satisfied with the light of a candle?

From 15 August onward He started to speak the inner language and nobody could understand what He meant. After15 August he cleared all the accounts and money matters. Nobody could interfere in whatever He was doing, neither I nor the Sangat. And whenever anybody said to Bhaji, "Don't work so hard, You have just had an operation", He replied, "Not I have been operated, Bhiji had the operation. I am strong." One could see the Master shine through Him. This shows His bhakti and inner hardship.

On 15 August He held Satsang in the Sarovar and He said, "This Doctor will wear the garment of truth, and will then go inside. He will cross such stages, which nobody has been able to reach so far." And He continued to speak with the voice that comes from within.

When on 21 August He held Satsang, He was speaking so long that I went to stop Him, but again He openly declared, "I feel well, she is weak as she has come to stop me." When He was sitting on the stage, I could see behind Him a light as bright as the sun. I felt worried. And then He announced the same as Master had announced once in Dehra Dhun: "Today I am speaking these words to you, but maybe next time you will not hear the words from this throat." When He saw my condition, how I felt weak at hearing such things, He changed the subject and said, "Today we are all sitting together in the Satsang Hall, but we do not know who may have to leave tomorrow." He did not speak this from outside, it had already been decided inside in the assembly of the Saints that He would leave. But after the Satsang He was still attending all the Sangat, and was meeting them and speaking very lovably with them. We four or five people were caring for Him, because it was very hot but He was ignoring the heat as the second dark storm would come (when He would leave His body).

He had become the treasure-house of His virtues and He revealed many new aspects of spirituality. When He was with the Sangat, He was very happy, and He spoke in a different way, but when He was back in His room, He started to speak the inner language again. He closed the door and said, "I decided something on the stage today, and I hope you will also accept it." Then He said, "If I leave my body before you, then you should not be down, and if you leave your body first, then I will not be weak. And when I leave my body, the flag of spirituality should be hoisted as high as it is now." Master gave us the parshad, this gift on 28 July, saying, "Doctor, go now, the power of spirituality will not finish in seven generations that will follow after you."

Bhaji continued, "You must not pass your life like the dead, you must go within and be with Master."

Then Bhaji spoke about meditation (and that we should be conscious even while we are sleeping). He said, "When we are in deep sleep, we go into the navel chakra (and when we are in an unconscious sleep), we have only worldly dreams. But you are soul, you are the disciple of the competent Master, you have to be awake. When you close your eyes, you should be within, and when you open them, you are in this world. Then we will come in your dreams and we will tell you something, if there is some difficulty for you." And when I asked, "What are you speaking about?", He replied, "It just slipped out, I am speaking from inside."

One could see Master's competency through Him. When Bhaji left His body, He had no problem, He went in peace. In His last days He was so happy as He had never been before in His life. But I did not feel happy seeing how happy He was. (Biji was overcome by suspicions and she was afraid that He might leave.) Then He said to others, "Your Biji is sad." My whole body seemed heavy and I felt a great burden on me. And Bhaji said, "Yes, it is like this." Till the end He was near to me, and He had no problem.

At four o'clock (on 24 September) He went into the bathroom. He said, "You have seen how many problems Master had (in the time before His departure)."

I just said, "Yes", and He continued, "But you see that I have no problem. I am not suffering because I am the disciple of the competent Master."

Then I reminded Him that the next day there would be initiation and He replied, "Don't worry, Naami, the one who is preparing Naam, He is with us. If He, who gives Naam, would not awaken us, who are we to give  initiation! When He takes our hand and brings us here (to get initiation), then only can we say that we have been initiated, but He has selected us before."

Bhaji knew so many incidences with Master, which even I did not know, so many that they cannot be described. And the sacrifice of Him who has started His Mission, will always be of great significance.

Before we went to Ludhiana (to the hospital, on 24 September), at four o'clock He told me at last, "Kirpal Sagar is my life, my heart, take care of it!" This Mission was started by Him with hard work, and today we see how far it reaches. Who passed the time with Him knows how it was. He got Master's promise that on each leaf there should be only Master's name, everywhere there should be alone His name. Bhaji did like this, wherever you look in Kirpal Sagar, you see only the name of Kirpal.

Bhaji attained this inner parshad, and with this gift we all have come together here. When you sit in His remembrance, you will get the parshad from within. When we are full of love and live in unity, and there is no more mine or thine, He will be in us. But when we fall in doubt, and this doubt becomes a mountain before us, then it is very difficult for Master to cross this mountain. If we want to attain Him, we can only attain Him in love.

We have seen how His love is blooming here, and I pray that this love may be here forever. He is not far from us, only we do not have the eye to see Him. All to whom He has given birth are His children. The question of good and bad only arises when we do not have the intoxication of spirituality.

The inner and outer Satsang are one, and even if we take within only one line of the Satsang, we can get the grace.

When we celebrate Master's birthday, for instance, or the day of His departure, a special grace is given on these days. His ocean is very big and deep, and He gives a chance to everybody to take a bath in it.

Whenever you get together here, you should be in His love and in His sweet remembrance, and whatever you do, you will get the help from Him.

Bhaji said that He always did whatever was the wish of the Master, He never took a step without His will. I do the same, and I wish you all never to take a step without His will. Tonight we are here, tomorrow we will go back and see the place again that is the ocean of His grace.

When Master blessed us with Kirpal Sagar, He said, "Doctor, so far nobody has been able to complete such a place, if you take this duty, you will have to suffer, problems will come to you." And Bhaji replied, "I am ready to sacrifice, but I wish to complete this place."

We all who are sitting here, are filled with His love and His loving remembrance. There is only one doer, and the key is in His hand.